Read someone's story

The day that my illusions about my family life were destroyed started with a phone call from my son's stepmother at 7am. I was told that my son had been stealing large sums of money from his employer and was using it to gamble on the pokie machines at work.

My first thoughts were that there must be a mistake. This was my son! He hadn't been brought up to be dishonest- stealing!! No not possible.

A meeting was organised between his boss, stepmother and myself.
I was gutted, his boss was gutted. I was informed that my son had been stealing money to fuel a gambling problem.

As I came out of denial, it was discussed that the best possible outcome was for his boss to confront him in front of his peers at work. I was to go home and pretend that nothing had happened and my son was to go to work as usual.

I had a lot of time to myself that morning worrying about my son and the possible outcomes of the meeting. None of my thoughts were good.

Not knowing what to do, I rang the Problem Gambling help line and spoke to a counsellor. She was fantastic. 
 Surely something of this magnitude would have affected my son and his life more than what I had ever seen. I started to think of the last couple of years- how could I have not seen that something was not right with my son? Apart from the occasional bouts of moodiness- which I put down to stress of finishing his BSC degree and working long  hours at work- there was nothing I could put my finger on. I have since learned that gambling is the invisible addiction. You cannot look at someone with this addiction and put your finger on anything specific that will show that they have a problem.
 
My son was confronted at work that afternoon, and he broke down and confessed. His boss was an ex policeman and he realised that prosecuting my son was not the best option for him. He was fired, of course and he signed a self exclusion order from his former place of employment and also the Casino which was designed to stop my son from entering those two places.
 
My son and I went to several counselling sessions at the Problem Gambling Foundation and the counsellor there was great, asking him the right questions and making him think of the consequences of his actions which he saw first hand.
He was made to pay back the money he had stolen.
 
My son has since moved over to Western Australia to restart his life. Thank goodness there are no pokie machines over there in any of the clubs and pubs, only the Casino. Hopefully if he finds he is tempted to go to the Casino, he will now look to getting help from the problem gambling organisations over there.
 
The only positive thing in all of this is that I got my son back. He was more relaxed and happier than I had seen him for a long time. I guess that guilt played a huge part in what he was doing.

I am aware that he will always have a gambling problem- but hopefully with maturity, and if he hasn't forgotten the skills his counsellor gave him, he will have the knowledge not to become trapped in this addiction again. My love and best wishes go out to him always, and to the other people whose lives have been affected adversely by this addiction.

Be aware that there is help out there supplied by a group of outstanding individuals.

Free, professional and confidential help is only a phone call or email away.
0800 664 262 or email help@pgfnz.org.nz
Asian hotline 0800 862 342.